Why I write…

I started this blog because sometimes I need to write down my thoughts. If you choose to read, then great. If you choose not to read, that’s great, too. It doesn’t affect me either way. I’ve been through quite a year. I needed a place to put my thoughts down. I also love to write. I’ve tried journalling with paper and pencil and I just can’t keep it up, but I can somewhat keep up with typing my thoughts (maybe a generational thing). I would love to be a paper/pencil girl but it just doesn’t get done.

This year has been crazy on a personal account and national account. I’ve been trying to wrap my head around stuff that has happened, especially this last week. I’m not typically an anxious person, but as a mom anxiety has trickled into my system. I have random fleeting thoughts. I think about the fact that as we sit in church, we all sit with our backs to the main doors and what if someone decides they want to go crazy by coming in and shooting. I am constantly looking around at large gatherings like marathons or metro stations wondering what others are thinking or if someone has left something behind. It’s not completely healthy, but at the same time, I do not let these thoughts consume me. I have them, but they are fleeting and I refocus my mind to something else.

But after this week, anytime I think about what happened, I think about how easily that could have been me or someone I love. That is an event I easily could have been to if it was in my neck of the woods. My eyes are tearing up just thinking about it. Then of course, my mind turns to my littles who I send off to school everyday and pray (and wonder) everyday for their safety.

I’m not someone that will EVER get into a debate with someone over gun control laws because frankly, I  don’t know enough about them to debate anyone and I honestly don’t think many people do. I do, however, think something needs to be addressed. Assault rifles are not something ANYONE needs. Mental health needs to start being taken as seriously as heart disease and cancer. People need to love more, reflect more, listen more, debate less.

I sat with my oldest (5 years old) and talked to her about being a friend to anyone who needs one. I told her that it’s important to look for the friend in the classroom or lunch room who doesn’t seem to be talking to anyone or has a hard time finding someone to play with and invite them in. It’s not going to erase what it going on in the world, but if I can raise two little ones to love unconditionally, be a friend to anyone around them, and be genuinely good people, than I feel like I have done something.

I love the fact that many news outlets were focusing on the heroes of this week. They were highlighting ways people were helping in the aftermath or ways people helped strangers around them. Highlighting

those throwing themselves on top of people they didn’t even know to shield them from what was happening. I believe that our world has more good in it than evil, but unfortunately the evil takes the spotlight. The evil has made me have these anxious thoughts and have placed fear in so many of our hearts and minds, but let’s remember the good we are surrounded by. Let’s focus on the love we receive and the love we are allowed to deliver each and every day.

Today, be kind to the person next to you. Smile at the stranger walking by. Lift your eyes off the screen of your phone and say hi to someone. Be the kind in the world, because that is all we can do and that’s what we need to live each day for.

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