We are in a unique world. Sitting with some friends this week, we had a very interesting conversation about where our expectation of being a “perfect” mom comes from and what we think a perfect mom does. My two cents was that we see the “perfect” moments people share on Facebook. You know- the picture of the perfectly dressed kid making the most perfect bubble with the most perfect smile with the most perfect caption of being a perfect day with their perfect child and everyone is happy and healthy and perfect. You know those pictures? Except we don’t see the tantrum right after the picture was taken, a perfect bubble solution puddle developed and the wand and bottle were thrown in a tantrum or the mess of a mom on the other side of the camera. We don’t see the other kid swing upside down from the front steps throwing rocks and sticks. (OK– maybe this is just at my house?!)
So I find that we need a village to talk to, vent to, bounce ideas off of, but it’s hard to come by. We don’t live in the times of all stay at home moms who are doing their laundry together while their kids play in unison somewhere in the neighborhood. We don’t live during the times of one big casserole feeding a family of 8 and everyone is sitting down at the table at 6pm sharp. We live in a world of trying to buy the most perfect, organic, non-GMO food, preparing the best gourmet meals
no kid anyone would eat, while washing our clothes in the most environmentally stable detergent, and signing our kids up for all the top activities in town and we barely get a sit down dinner.
Our villages have turned virtual because that is the world we live in. So what’s the problem?! The problem is that people monitor and make rules to these virtual villages. By sharing a personal blog post, it’s look upon as “selling one’s ideas” and that topics need to be shared that are interesting to everyone. A village isn’t about what is convenient, happy, and perfect all the time, that’s why we need it. It’s about brainstorming ideas or thoughts around with others, venting when things get hard, looking for support when support is needed.
I’ve decided this week (after my last post) that I don’t want to be a “perfect” mom. I want to be a mom who supports my kids’ ideas and emotions. I want to be the mom who other moms can come to knowing there is no judgement. I want to be the mom that embraces all parenting styles, regardless if it’s my own parenting style or not. I want to be the mom that when people stop to think about who they can trust, rely on, bounce ideas off of, vent to, that I come to mind. I want to be the mom that someone can drop by for a cup of coffee, tea, or wine and know it’s a safe place. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’m not saying I have this parenting thing down, but I can confidently say that I will always do my best to be the most inclusive as I can possibly be. I can confidently say that even if I don’t agree with a decision you make, I will never make you feel judged or wrong just because I don’t agree. I can confidently say that I will do my absolute best to be the role model I want my daughter to have so she can continue in this light one day when she becomes a mom. I want to be a mom who NEEDS a village and is part of a village.
Let’s go forth, supporting each other in a true, real way! KEEP GOING, MAMA! You are a strong, amazing, wonderful mom and we are here to support you 100%!